just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
