rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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