2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
