so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
