Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
