Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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