Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize