As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
