I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
