I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
