Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
