Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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