Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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