hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
