I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
