dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
