That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
