What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
