he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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