god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
