He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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