he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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