I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
