I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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