Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize