Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
