Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
