Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize