Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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