Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
