There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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