did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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