This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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