Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
