Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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