i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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