don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I will pee on everything he values.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
