He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
