Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
