You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
