Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
