i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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