i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
