I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize