Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
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