hotel room ftw
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Randomize