fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I love having hate sex.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
