Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Vodka?
Forever.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
