I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
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