It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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