just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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