Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
This is my gift to your gina
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
