YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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