I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
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Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
