Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
