Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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