He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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