The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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