they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
