I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
