Me. At least after what I've been through.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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