I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
